So my son is 18mos, almost 19mos, and his behavior is just........ hmm... challenging. I've always been curious to when is the right time to give spankings or punishments to your kids. Is 12mos too soon? Is 14mos too soon? Is 18mos too soon? I hope not. Now, I don't spank my son but he does receive at least 3 pops on his hand, arm, or leg when he is really just out of control. I've been telling my closest friends, my parents, and his paternal grandmother how he has been behaving lately. His grandparents say to me that "it is those terrible twos". Okay? So what am I to do? Pop his hand everytime he refuses to listen? The response is "yes". When he touches something that he knows he is not to touch, pop his hand and tell him why. When he falls out because he didn't get his way, pop his legs and tell him why. When he pulls away from you when you are telling him to "come here" pop his arm and tell him why. Okay, but this does not always work. I need more help, better enforcement.
There is a book entitled "Talking to Toddlers: Dealing with the Terrible Twos and Beyond". It is an audio and e-book combo. I am very much excited about this book. Besides prayer and advise from loved ones I need a little extra to get me threw these challenging times. So if you are like me then click on the title of the book to gain some tips and learn more about the book.
Poor Baby. The only thing I can say is, other than advice I've already given you, welcome to the club. Parenthood is wonderful and yet it can be a bit**. Children have to learn what they can and cannot do. They need discipline and it's your job to figure out how you can give that to them. Sometimes it's a pop on legs. Sometimes it's taking something away. Sometimes it's making them do something they don't like doing. Discipline is something you'll have to dish out for a long time and as they grow and mature your discipline will change or intensify. God bless you during this time. I had my turn; now it's your turn.
ReplyDeleteSo often we over analyze childrearing and fall for the idealistic belief that children will learn self-discipline on their own( The word self-discipline is nosensical to me; at the root of self-discipline is the advoidance of some external consequence). "Self-discipline" is for adults; Children must be disciplined because they do know right from wrong. It my belief that you know that they are old enough for spankings when the look for you, right before they are about to do something they know that they are not supposed to. At that point that proves they have a memory, they understand the purpose of parents, as well as consequences. As they grow and become part of thew world, spankings should be replaced by lack of freedoms (i.e. toys, playtime, etc.)
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